Wednesday, 22 February 2012

Embarrassing Realisations.

I've been itching to blog about this for a few days.


I have been jumping on and off plan for weeks, and when ever I find myself like this I tend to either read the weightwatchers magazine for a wee bit of a kick, or, more recently, trawl through the internet looking for new blogs. I found this one blog, which I'll not link to. I don't personally know the individual but I read a lot of her posts because she seemed to be in the same situation as me.


Blaming everything but herself for her weight gain and inability to get back to losing. I know at the minute I can't get to a regular class and I depend on the esource. I don't know if this girl goes to classes but I know she is definitely following pro-points like me.


The more posts I read the more frustrated I got with her. She's not honest with her tracking, having good days she'll blog about and then binge days and then wonder why she's not losing weight. She works and has family commitments and is using that as an excuse for emotional eating and not exercising. If that's the case and she's recognised it why isn't she doing anything about it? Why is she blaming other people and circumstances for what she eats. She's a grown woman who decides when and what to eat and is blaming others as if they tie her to a table and force feed her to eat and drink. Seriously?


It got to the point where I said to myself, I can't read this any more. And then came the realisation. She's me haha! I am doing the exact same thing! I have a few good days and then something happens and I turn to emotional eating. I know I'm doing it, about 50% of the time I realise it as I'm doing, the rest of the time it's straight afterwards, it's gotten to the point now where I don't even care that much. The littlest thing will make me skip exercise now. My treadmill can't be used at the minute so if I want to run I have to do it outside, if the weather isn't just right I simply won't run outside. I'm still walking most places of course but recently my time has been very short and I'm having to budget it and exercise hasn't been a priority. I am now making it a priority again. And if I want to make weather an excuse not to go outside, that's fine. I still have a pretty good exercise DVD (Jillian Michaels 30 Day Shred, more on that at a later date), and also the games on the eyetoy I love. No excuses. I'm not going to embarrass myself by blaming anything or anyone but myself for my own behaviour. I am in control of what I put in my body, no one else. I am in control of how I use my body. No body else.


I've had an oddly busy few weeks. My brother's 18th Birthday, Valentines Day, My parent's Silver Wedding Anniversary, Pancake Tuesday and I've used all of these events as an excuse to go off plan and not just for that one day. I have a wedding on Friday to go to and I think that's me event wise for a while.


I'm so glad I found that blog. It was the kick in the head I needed and wouldn't have gotten it from a magazine or a friend. It was something I needed to see myself and is something I am determined to address.


For me being organised is one of my big keys for success, I've started to let it slip. Not just regarding weight management, but a lot of things, so today I'm organising that and reeling myself back in.


As usual to round of this post, here's a summary of the last few weeks in pictures!


We seen the Muppets in the cinema on Valentines (it's brilliant, go see it) And then went home to a candlelit dinner / picnic.



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Red Roses


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Nandos!



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Nandos Lamp



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Coke :-)



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Sarah xx


P.S. I'm on a twitter hiatus as I just don't have the time to be checking it at the moment. My feed is being updated probably by either blog updates, games I play on my phone or getglue. I'll be back of course, but not for another wee while. I've lots to sort out and twitter hasn't been much of a help.

Monday, 6 February 2012

Update! 6th Feb 2012

Last week was a bit of a bad one. I was super busy, I had an interview that I was in preparation for and then I had work (as normal) and ate out for my brothers 18th birthday (I feel so so old, how can my baby brother be 18?!) and then a Domino's Pizza on the night after my interview. Hoping it went well, but I won't find out until about April time.


Other than the birthday and the treat night, it wasn't all that bad. Just one of those weeks that when I'm bad I'm very bad. It also didn't help that I only tracked about a quarter of the time. This week I really, really, really want to work on the tracking. Because without tracking and thinking back I think I'm being too hard on myself. Yes I had very weak moments this week but the rest of the time I was actually pretty good when I look back at what I have tracked and think about my behaviours in work and meeting up with friends for coffee. I need to track so I can be truthful to myself.


Focusing on the positive this week, I was quite active. Clocking 26 activity points through the week. This week I'd like to at least match that if not beat it. I can track my activity on my phone easily so that's how I know that it was 26 specifically.


To cheer up this post, here is some pictures of the week, mostly from dinner with the family, though somehow I don't have a single picture of my parents, suppose that's 'cus they were on the same side of the table as me.



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Me and the wonderful Gav



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Birthday boy



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Starter


My brother is tee-total, so this is me and him toasting our non-alcoholic cocktails (I was driving) and gavin pulling a pretty face.



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Main, yum yum.



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Sister and brother, seriously iphones are so sucky for taking pictures.



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I baked a cake for David.



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Coffee and Ferrero Roche in work



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Clements with Declan



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So I could give him his uber belated pressie.



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My newest addiction. Lipton Iced Green Tea with lemon. Yum.

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So, aims for this week, track track track. I'm still using the non-counting approach for now.


Keep at the activity, try match last week.


Schedule some more blog time into my week so I can update more here. I do have something very exciting happening in the three or four weeks. So I should hopefully manage a few bits and pieces up. When I blog I always seem to have better weeks.


Must go now, going for a wee cycle.


Sarah xx