I've been itching to blog about this for a few days.
I have been jumping on and off plan for weeks, and when ever I find myself like this I tend to either read the weightwatchers magazine for a wee bit of a kick, or, more recently, trawl through the internet looking for new blogs. I found this one blog, which I'll not link to. I don't personally know the individual but I read a lot of her posts because she seemed to be in the same situation as me.
Blaming everything but herself for her weight gain and inability to get back to losing. I know at the minute I can't get to a regular class and I depend on the esource. I don't know if this girl goes to classes but I know she is definitely following pro-points like me.
The more posts I read the more frustrated I got with her. She's not honest with her tracking, having good days she'll blog about and then binge days and then wonder why she's not losing weight. She works and has family commitments and is using that as an excuse for emotional eating and not exercising. If that's the case and she's recognised it why isn't she doing anything about it? Why is she blaming other people and circumstances for what she eats. She's a grown woman who decides when and what to eat and is blaming others as if they tie her to a table and force feed her to eat and drink. Seriously?
It got to the point where I said to myself, I can't read this any more. And then came the realisation. She's me haha! I am doing the exact same thing! I have a few good days and then something happens and I turn to emotional eating. I know I'm doing it, about 50% of the time I realise it as I'm doing, the rest of the time it's straight afterwards, it's gotten to the point now where I don't even care that much. The littlest thing will make me skip exercise now. My treadmill can't be used at the minute so if I want to run I have to do it outside, if the weather isn't just right I simply won't run outside. I'm still walking most places of course but recently my time has been very short and I'm having to budget it and exercise hasn't been a priority. I am now making it a priority again. And if I want to make weather an excuse not to go outside, that's fine. I still have a pretty good exercise DVD (Jillian Michaels 30 Day Shred, more on that at a later date), and also the games on the eyetoy I love. No excuses. I'm not going to embarrass myself by blaming anything or anyone but myself for my own behaviour. I am in control of what I put in my body, no one else. I am in control of how I use my body. No body else.
I've had an oddly busy few weeks. My brother's 18th Birthday, Valentines Day, My parent's Silver Wedding Anniversary, Pancake Tuesday and I've used all of these events as an excuse to go off plan and not just for that one day. I have a wedding on Friday to go to and I think that's me event wise for a while.
I'm so glad I found that blog. It was the kick in the head I needed and wouldn't have gotten it from a magazine or a friend. It was something I needed to see myself and is something I am determined to address.
For me being organised is one of my big keys for success, I've started to let it slip. Not just regarding weight management, but a lot of things, so today I'm organising that and reeling myself back in.
As usual to round of this post, here's a summary of the last few weeks in pictures!
We seen the Muppets in the cinema on Valentines (it's brilliant, go see it) And then went home to a candlelit dinner / picnic.
P.S. I'm on a twitter hiatus as I just don't have the time to be checking it at the moment. My feed is being updated probably by either blog updates, games I play on my phone or getglue. I'll be back of course, but not for another wee while. I've lots to sort out and twitter hasn't been much of a help.
Acknowledging that you have a problem and that you know its your fault is the first step towards achieving a very difficult goal. There is nothing to be ashamed about. My mom used to tell me that the first you need to do is to acknowledge you have a problem, accept the fact that you need help in losing weight, establish a goal, and find steps to achieve this goal diligently. :-)ReplyDelete